life...

...is a rollercoaster. but you gotta love it. always going straight and flat... what fun is it in that?!

my man made my day today. it's just stronger than us, our love, how sweet!

obviously...

...and unfortunately a friend of mine decided to "clean" her friend's list. I know that I haven't been much in touch lately, but you all know, that I haven't been with anybody. I've been quite egoistic (sorry y'all) trying to figure out myself. unfortunately, this friend, that I do miss, decided that we're not friends. sad. cause real friends are there, always and forever, no matter what (almost).

well M, I hope you have your good reasons. It would be nice if you could tell me about them though... cause really, I'm clueless to why.

thoughts by a friend

"What if loneliness was a feeling of impatience, sent by friends yet to meet, urging you to get involved, so that lives serendipities could bring you together. What if illness was just the signal a healthy body sent to urge clarification of your thoughts/dreams. What if feelings of uncertainty were only reminders that you have options and that there is no hurry. What if mistakes only happened when life was about to get better than it's been."

if...

if someone knows you better than you do, or at least knows how you feel without having to tell them... bringing you to reality, questioning your dreams to try to make them reality, or try to make sense of your imagination. then you can question yourself either, how much do you know yourself, or is this real love? is this it???

summer 2010

my summer has been interesting. it felt sooo long, yet so short.

it's been hell, and then again not.

i've been in sweden, it's been... well hm... interesting.

i had a life before coming here. not a normal life, but my reality. for a "normal" person with a "normal job", it probably does not seem like a "real life". so different and far away from the everyday life to them. this summer I've been living "the normal person, normal job, real life".

didn't like it at all in the beginning. now after almost 2,5 months, I got into it. with a little help from my friends... so thank you! and all those wonderful, fantastic, good energy people that I've the pleasure to meet! amazing. i needed this. yet... im lost. it hurts. im sad. and then sometimes Im really happy, and then I feel a bit guilty just because I have those moment of pure joy. im sure you want me to be happy though...

tomorrow morning, actually more in like 5 hours, im leaving, to go back to my "old" life...

not sure what to think about that... i'm scared, nervous, I don't want it to be like it used to be... I've became a little more "swedenalized"

i do miss rome though and all the people I love there. it's gonna be really nice to get some heat and sun too!

i just don't want and need to be confused anymore. the time is now...

i also discovered something today, that made me really sad. I just hope that it was only a mistake...otherwise a piece of my heart will break.

crying...

... like a baby right now. I was supposed to feel good tonight. not working. parents out on a concert. the house to myself. watching a movie, a romantic comedy called ps I love you. and what is it about? Love of course. only that the main character dies. in a brain tumor. great! and that is why Im now crying like a baby. f***k. it's not easy.... i miss you more than I ever thought I would. and now ur probably smiling up there, bc as your sister said at your funeral, the more we cried to movies the more you smiled... so here's to you ;)

had to talk to you today...

but you aren't there. no where to be heard. from time to time I watch your beautiful pic on fb, and I see how much ppl miss you and love you. like me.

it's not ok that ur gone. i just hope that you're having a good time up there. if anybody knows how to have a good time though, it's u!
miss u and love u J.